Love + Marriage | ,

The true joys of marriage


As joyous as my wedding day was, almost three years down the track, I am convinced that the real joys of marriage have come to fruition during the everyday life that has since ensued. Once the confetti had been thrown, the cake had been cut and the wedding guests had all but departed, this is when real life together as husband and wife began – and what a joy it has been.

A scene from the movie ‘Shall We Dance’ springs to mind when I think about what marriage really means to me. Susan Sarandon’s character, Beverly, said it perfectly: “We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet. I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything – the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things – all of it, all the time, every day. You’re saying, ‘Your life will not go unnoticed … I will be your witness.’”

In part, for me this represents the absolute joy of having someone there who genuinely wants to witness and champion my good days – the type of days where I feel like I could conquer the world and without fail, my husband is there as the first to acknowledge my wins, no matter how big or small.

However, it is during my not so good days when there is no joy to be found, is when the sweet spot of my loving marriage truly comes to light. The type of days when even the weight of my blanket feels like a burden and I’m unable to get out of bed – these are the days when my husband stands tall, true to his vows, willing to be present through the chaos of it all.

Like the moments he would leave work early, in order to be there waiting for me outside of my work, just so I had someone to talk to on my journey home after a trying day. Or the nights when he would force himself to stay awake at a ridiculous hour, just so I didn’t have to battle my sleepless nights alone.

What a joy knowing that either way the coin is tossed, this type of comfort awaits me each day. And in return, what a joy it is to know that someone in this lifetime depends on me to be the witness and wonder of their life in equal measure. Someone who is willing to share every detail of their days with me, trusting that I’m the person that they have chosen to not only mark the major milestones in life with, but also the person to share and keep sacred all those seemingly underrated in-betweens. In sickness and in health, for all the days to come. Isn’t that what all this is about?


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