UNCONDITIONAL FRIENDSHIP
To look at Bob and Pam is to see the true definition of marriage; a union celebrated with compassion and kind gestures. 64 years on, and this sweet pair still walk hand-in-hand—Bob even insists on opening the car door for Pam to this day. They are inseparable. On an average day you’ll find the two of them alongside each other in their yard; Pam developing a beautiful garden of colourful flowers and natives, and Bob meticulously tending to the lawn and hedges. Read on to learn how this genuine couple found each other, and what it has taken for them to still be together today.
How did you meet? Pam: We met at the dental surgery I was employed at. Bob was a patient having some fillings done and I was the dental nurse. There was an attraction from the start. The dentist must have noticed something because one day he said, “I’ll give you five minutes together before I come in.” Eventually, Bob rang the surgery and asked me to go to the pictures. We went to the Royal Theatre and it all continued from there. Bob: Pam was a dental nurse and I was a patient in that practice. I couldn’t help but notice the beautiful dental nurse with auburn hair.
Do you remember your wedding day? What was it like? Pam: It was a very emotional day. My dad left us when I was nine years old. Mum divorced him three years later. Mum felt she reared me, and as she was paying for the wedding, she decided he was not going to have the honour of walking me down the aisle and giving me away. When asked, both my uncles declined, so the dentist’s (my employer’s) father, Cecil, said he would be delighted to do the job. My father and his wife came to the church and sat at the very back. I was tearful as I came down the aisle and tearful again when I saw my father as we walked out. The ceremony was absolutely lovely, and I felt so secure when I reached Bob at the altar in the Wesley Church in Hamilton. I was 20 and Bob was 26. We had our reception in Scott’s Dining Room (which became David Jones) with just 40 guests. We had our one-week honeymoon at Austinmer, near Wollongong. Bob: It was a good day. Not a big, lavish affair—more family orientated. I still remember seeing Pam walk down the aisle and feeling like the luckiest man alive.
How have you kept your relationship strong all these years? Pam: It’s the simple things. We spend time doing things together, we support each other practically and encourage each other verbally. We have continually shown appreciation to each other, taking nothing for granted. All these years later, I truly appreciate Bob more each day.
We love each other and when we said our marriage vows, we meant them; we would be there for each other in sickness and health, in the good times and the bad. We have never given ourselves any other options. We have kept to our commitment.
Bob: There’s no boss in this relationship. We discuss all major decisions and decide what we should do. We don’t move on a major decision until we have both agreed. We care deeply about each other, so we talk. We are always looking for the best outcome for the both of us. The other thing is, we do nearly everything together. We really do enjoy each other’s company. Pam is my best friend and I am hers.
How did you know your partner was the one? Pam: I had a strong attraction to Bob. He was kind, considerate, thoughtful (he brought me flowers on occasions) and very respectful. We had the same ideals. Bob: I think there is a natural instinct involved. We had many things in common.
What advice do you have for young couples? Pam: Don’t ever take each other for granted. Continue to work on your relationship together, communicating with honesty and integrity. Talk face to face; your body language shows how you really feel, which may be totally different from the words you are speaking. Don’t expect your partner to know what you are thinking. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Solve quarrels quickly, and don’t go to bed angry. Develop a sense of humour—it helps to reduce the tension. Bob: Complete dedication—don’t be half-hearted about your marriage. Go into it with the mindset that this is for life, therefore every day counts. Treat each other with respect. Be genuine about everything you do.
What is marriage to you? Pam: It’s a joining together, ‘two becoming one’. It’s a lifelong commitment, till death do us part. Learning to compromise. It’s both people giving and taking. We are really blessed to still have each other. Bob: A complete bonding and a complete unselfish love for each other. It’s being committed to giving more to the other person than you take and somehow it all works out in the end.
