PAMELA + RONALD: A CARING MARRIAGE
Now approaching their 59th wedding anniversary, Pam and Ron Wilson were a couple that struck love at first sight, and continue to do so each day. Over the years they’ve learnt how to be ‘one’, which is cultivated from a whole lot of care and generosity.
How did you meet? Pam: We met at The Brighton Ballroom in Newcastle upon Tyne. I was there with friends, and Ronnie came and asked me for a dance. We danced around and he told me he would like to dance with me again the following Saturday. The next week, he asked if he could take me out on Tuesday where he met me with a bunch of carnations. Ron: I was standing on the side of the dance floor and I saw this vision in a pink dress. She was dancing with a man who was blind and I fell for her straight away.
Do you remember your wedding day? What was it like? Pam: It was a lovely wedding. It was in February and the snow had been. The church grounds still had snow on them but the sun shone—it was the beginning of a summer heatwave and lovely year. Ron: It was a beautiful, sunny day near the end of winter. We had a marvellous day. Everybody danced, and afterwards we caught the train to Edinburgh for our honeymoon.
How did you know your partner was the one? Pam: After meeting him, I went to work and the girls said, “Pamela, you’ve gone absolutely gaga after him.” They were right—I thought he was wonderful! Ron: I felt it in my heart. I’d never wanted to get married before I met Pamela. She had a beautiful smile and personality. What more could you ask for?
How have you kept your relationship strong all these years? Pam: Caring for each other, sharing and talking things out. Ron: Because we always agree with each other. We have the odd argument but it’s just trivial, nothing big and nothing that can’t be settled.
How do you both deal with conflict? Pam: Talk about the issue as soon as it happens. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Ron: I usually agree with her. I find it hard to deal with conflict and she can deal with anything.
Have there been any challenges in your relationship? Pam: The biggest challenge would be emigrating, in the sense that you have to believe that God is looking after you so everything will be alright. Who we met and surrounded ourselves with along the way made a huge difference.
What are the three most important ingredients to a successful marriage? Pam: Love, honesty and caring. I don’t think you’d have a good marriage without them. Ron: Love is the most important.
You’ve got to be honest and you’ve got to share everything like we always have done. It’s not ‘yours’ and ‘mine’, it’s ours.
What advice do you have for young couples? Pam: To love each other, to be honest and to share everything. Not have ‘his’ and ‘hers’. Don’t pretend to each other and don’t pretend everything is okay if it’s not. Say something as early as you can instead. Ron: Get to know each other before you decide to make a commitment. Be honest, trust one another and share everything.
What is marriage to you? Pam: Marriage is belonging. In the Bible it says two become one, and you think, how is that possible? But it is in a good relationship. Ron: Marriage is everything; complete happiness if you have the right person.
