Lauren + Lloyd




We were holidaying in wine country, tasting our way through an autumn day as cool and bright as marble. The roads that ribboned through the hillside were empty and our old driver brimmed with new suggestions of which one to follow next. When I recall it now, Lloyd looked a different version of himself, a body teeming with nervous energy, gaining momentum. But at the time my notice was diverted by his wide, windswept smile, and the feeling of warm hands over mine. When he asked me, it was from one knee, elbow crooked, hand outstretched as though holding a torch, with something glittering and perfect and permanent on his palm. I did not react like in films, poised and misty-eyed. I clapped my hands over my face, muffling whatever joy sounds like, trying to keep it from hiccuping out of me like carbonated air. And then we tumbled inside, out of the drizzle and into the warmth, and it felt like we would never be cold again.


We really like sandwiches. And the word ‘pudding’. Our wine rack is stocked with Barossa-wrought wine, our couch is covered with pets who love a good chat, our fireplace is bursting with board games and our cupboards are heavy with Nutella and popcorn. We wanted our wedding to be an enchanting expression of our life together, warm and inviting, atmospheric and just a little bit odd.


I vividly remember how difficult it was to concentrate, writing that note as I made my way from beach to church; absently listening to the chatter of my groomsmen while comfortably familiar landmarks whizzed past my peripheral vision. Resisting the urge to begin with “Webster’s dictionary defines”, I told you how I felt in that moment; how much I anticipated seeing you walk down the aisle (perhaps not foreseeing just how overwhelming this would be), and of my eagerness to begin our next big adventure together. But I could never envisage just how extraordinary our wedding day would end up being. I feel immense and genuine happiness every time I look at our photos. Through your style and coordination, you weaved atmospheric magic for both us and our guests. The celebration of our marriage was the phenomenal party we’d always wanted, and I will be forever grateful. You are my favourite person.


I prefer the German word for ‘marriage’, which is ‘Ehe’. I expect you’ll glimmer at the irony of it too. Such a glib exclamation, you can almost see the shrug of some indifferent shoulder that accompanies it, the frivolous flip of hair. An answer to a question that is no answer at all. The irony! Such a tiny, trivial word for such a vast and valuable thing.

How can any word be large enough to describe what it means to have every joy ricocheting between us like an echo, multiplied and magnified over and over again? How can any phrase be profound enough to express how it feels to have every sorrow halved, dissipated and diminished over the surface of two hearts instead of one? Life is such a grand adventure, but it is nothing without love. You inspire me every day to smile harder, dream louder and be better. You make the adventure worthwhile. To Ehe.


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