Just The Two Of Us

4

I know what it’s like to feel that post wedding bliss and loved up giddiness as a newlywed.

You’ve just married your person and a lifetime of adventure awaits – it’s crazy to think that anything could possibly top this incredible moment… but alas, the next shiny, magical milestone will.

The possibility of babies.

Moving into your dream house together.

A career change that ticks all the boxes.

The pressure to move onto the ‘next big thing’ is very real once you become husband and wife (just wait for those ‘When are you…?’ questions to roll in!) And if you happen to be a #goaldigger like me, you’ll happily forge ahead and make plans for these exciting celebrations, achievements and proud accolades to come into fruition.

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with wanting more – or wanting any of those things (far from it!) but I do understand how easy it is to fall into the never-ending achievement trap in a world that is constantly telling us to ‘dream big’. Well, bigger isn’t always better and now more than ever, we need to embrace those beautiful in-between moments because they’re just as meaningful and important too.

When it feels like the world is telling you to be more, expand, build, grow, pro-create, the most wonderful thing you can do as husband and wife is simply ‘be’.

Be with each other as you wander through the supermarket.

Hike in the sunshine.

Lie on the couch, arms and legs intertwined.

Enjoy having that toilet door wide open without a care in the world!

And bask in those moments of mutual silence which become as comfortable as your favourite fluffy socks in Winter.

While it’s just the two of you, why not linger in this bliss for as long as you can? What a treat it is to relish in this glorious, peaceful, comforting phase of life – a precious time that doesn’t need to be overcome by the overwhelming pressure to reach the next ‘level’.

Be lovingly selfish and seek out fun or the next episode of ‘Suits’. You’ll learn how to keep indoor plants alive, watch a few die and celebrate when they survive. You’ll eat ice-cream and sort out your insurance. You’ll quote movies, have the most random conversations and the hard ones too. Most importantly, you’ll fuel each other with the unconditional love that you need to survive – if and when – it’s time for those bigger milestones to arrive.

Learning to slow down and savour these everyday moments is the solid foundation that any marriage can blossom from. Whether it’s the few steps to the fridge, or the big leaps to a new city, kicking goals left, right and centre was never the prerequisite for a fulfilling marriage. The willingness and openness to love one another throughout the up’s and down’s – and especially the ‘in-between’ most definitely is.

Tash Spencer is a life coach and writer for ambitious young women. She loves supporting type A twenty-somethings to go after what they truly want in their relationships, careers and lives without being so darn hard on themselves. Her online space encourages women to course correct and transition towards a life that feels more meaningful to them – gently, joyously, unapologetically and at their own pace and speed.

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